Kodos goes adventuring

Gcccccccchhhhh....

My driver's license expired. A few weeks...erm...a couple of months ago. I am always forgetful about having that damn thing renewed. It is such a colossal pain the the ass. I hate it. I absolutely dread it. Dock is a little pissy with me because I let it lapse, then got tagged for speeding. So, to pacify Dock (and the police), I set off to renew the license this afternoon after work.

Five years ago, the last time I had to go through this root canal, I drove out to the sticks of North Carolina to visit the Hillsborough DMV. No one goes there. It's basically empty with clerks grateful to serve whomever actually goes there (and they will give you the answers to the test should you forget). Rather than waiting for hours in Carrboro or Raleigh to have the worst photo of me taken, I decided to return to my favorite, country store for the renewal. A surprise awaited me, however.

Surprise! Even though the office is still listed on the DMV's website...the office is no longer there! Or anywhere! Presto! Gone! I drove around Hillsborough, up and down Route 70 for a good 45 minutes trying to find this damn place. I called my cellular service for directions. They gave me the same ones provided by the DMV website. The damn place is just...gone.

Knowing that if I went home today, sans valid license, Dock would chew my ass to bits...I decided to bite the bullet and drag my greenness to Capital Blvd in Raleigh. I knew I would spend the rest of my afternoon there and resigned myself to hanging out with a bunch of snot-faced teenagers hoping to get their permits and non-English speakers hoping to get a license. Grrrrrr.

Much to my surprise, the entire process at the Capital Blvd office took a total of 20 minutes. 20 minutes from the time I darkened the doorstep to the time they handed me the scariest driver's license ever known to man. It's raining so my naturally, curly hair is big. I mean...BIG. My face looks like a bloated puffer-fish. I thought the passport photo was the worst I have ever taken. Not now.

So...I'm legal to drive like mad on the highways again. Ready for officer friendly to pull me over again for allegedly going 80 mph. As if I would ever do that. My only hope, for the next infraction, is that the officer takes pity on the horrendous photo and lets me off the hook.