G-dMen

I found this article on MSNBC and Newsweek's website. It has been gnawing at me for a couple of hours now. This is not the first instance I have encountered this week, let alone today, where I'm seeing white, Christian men freaking out about the erosion of their perceived power and dominion. It seems to be the growing trend these days...the, "woe is me" attitude. Are they afraid someone is chewing away at their sense of entitlement?

When I read that men feel alienated by a house of worship because it looks as if it was decorated by women, I want to scream. Apparently, just going to church and worshipping isn't quite good enough. Apparently, the teachings in the Bible are not significant enough to distract these "men" from their physical surroundings.

More irksome is the notion that a group of men could refer to themselves as "G-dMen." It strikes me as entirely sanctimonious and borderline blasphemous. Who, among G-d fearing mortals, would ever adopt a moniker such as that? Who, among G-d fearing mortals, has the balls to presume that this is ok?

The thing that has me frothing at the mouth is the "no women allowed" bit. Discrimination does not, in my opinion, factor into Christianity and all that it stands for. I thought Christians were to love and respect everyone equally. Apparently, my memo about appropriate plumbing got lost in the mail. Oh wait...I'm just an uptight, Jewish feminazi. It didn't get lost in the mail. I'm don't merit being on the mailing list.

Maybe it's just my "liberal" value set clouding my judgment.

Real Men Talk About God
A new Christian movement lets guys be guys.

By Eileen Finan
Newsweek

Oct. 30, 2006 - This wasn’t your Daddy’s religious revival. Last Saturday morning, 200 Christian men gathered in a downtown warehouse in Nashville for a day-long spiritual extravaganza. Inside, strobe lights flashed, and tracks by the Killers thumped from speakers stacked on either side of a stage. Four large video screens showed clips of karate fights, car chases and Jackass-style stunts. Then the music lowered and Christian comedian Brad Stine appeared. With his rat-a-tat delivery and aggressive style, Stine quickly whipped the crowd into a chorus of “Amens!” “A lot of guys out there wouldn’t have the balls to be here,” he shouted. “Are you ready to be a man? Are you ready to kick ass? Are you ready to grab your sword and say, ‘OK family, I’m going to lead you?’ Buckle up. This is GodMen!”

The event was the first of what Stine and other organizers hope will be a series of testosterone-fueled Christian men’s gatherings across the country. Their purpose: to reassert masculinity within a church structure that they say has been weakened by feminization. They call it an experiment for now and don't expect, or even want, their numbers to grow too quickly. Stine and his friend and manager Mike Smith dreamed up GodMen after reading David Murrow’s 2005 book, “Why Men Hate Going to Church.” In it, Murrow points out that on any given Sunday, 13 million more adult women than men attend church in America. “We have to find a way to give [men] something that matters to them,” says Stine.

One way is to create a worship space where guys can be guys. “In most churches, you’ll see flowers and ferns at the front,” says Stine. “That’s saying, ‘This is a place that a woman has composed.’” So GodMen sought to create a place where men could admit to flaws without being judged bad Christians and be unapologetically male, including plenty of rock and roll and sex talk. “There’s this idea if you don’t drink or don’t say bad words, you are doing your Christianity appropriately, and meanwhile, that same guy is on the Internet looking at pornography,” Stine says. “It’s all a smoke screen. We need to admit these issues in order to be free.”

The group has three rules. First: only laymen are allowed as speakers, never pastors. “If a pastor says the wrong thing he can get fired,” Stine says. “A layman has nothing to lose.” Second: no one under 17 is admitted. “One of the biggest issues with men is their sexuality,” says Stine. “We are tired of Christianity sounding so candy-coated. If we can’t talk about real issues, what’s the point of the church?” And third: no women allowed. (This female reporter was allowed to observe the events while remaining largely out of sight from the crowd.) “We want to create an environment where we can talk to each other the way men really do,” Smith says, adding that existing men’s groups like the Promise Keepers—an evangelical ministry for men—often mimic the same church environment that turns some men away.

The GodMen approach certainly enticed John Crawford, a father of three teenage sons from Elkhart, Ind. Between bites of barbecued pork during a lunch break, he explained that he appreciated the rawness of GodMen. “It is not wrong for a guy to be bold and to have some testosterone,” he said. “Jesus kicked over tables in the temple when he saw bad things going on.” The GodMen gathering “is a little more rated R than PG,” said Crawford, “but Jesus wasn’t always PG.”

For the GodMen, the popular portrayal of a meek Jesus promotes an emasculated ideal for the Christian male. It’s a Jesus that never existed, says author Paul Coughlin, who wrote the 2005 book, “No More Christian Nice Guy,” a seminal text for many in this crowd. “Christian men need to know that it’s OK to be tough,” he says. “Jesus is tender and he’s tough. Right now, we are more disciples of Emily Post than we are Jesus.” During a talk on Saturday titled “Jesus—A Very Bad Christian Man,” Coughlin spoke while a projector beamed a “Wanted” poster of Jesus behind him “The idea that Jesus was always meek and mild is as fictitious as anything you’ll find in Dan Brown’s books,” he told the crowd. “Jesus was mighty disrespectful toward authority.” Then Coughlin riled the audience up: “You will never be able to be a warrior of light, to really fight on behalf of justice, if you think you have to be nice all the time!”

The GodMen also reject typical Christian music. It “doesn’t usher me into the presence of God,” says Smith, Stine’s manager. “It just ushered me into boredom.” Not so with the GodMen band that played on Saturday. On stage, as a series of words flashed on screens—Boss, Bold, Brash, Bully, Blunt—the band ripped into their first tune, “Testosterone High”: “Forget the ying and the yang/ I’ll take the boom and the bang/ Give me another dose of testosterone.”

Beyond the thrashing music, Saturday’s event included a number of risqué panels. One forum, titled “Training the Penis,” addressed struggles with masturbation and pornography. These were regarded as morally reprehensible but as weaknesses that should be addressed honestly. In another talk, Nate Larkin, a former pastor, told the crowd how he picked up his first prostitute on the way to preach at a candlelight service on Christmas Eve. Larkin says that he only began to overcome his sex addiction when he stopped pretending to be a perfect Christian. “This group targets the guys who went to Promise Keepers once and didn’t go back, the guys who believe in God, but relationships in church to them seem forced and fake,” he says. “There is an under-served market and I think it is a rising tide.”

Among the new adherents is Seth Kalb, 29, from Spring Hill, Tenn. The edgy nature of GodMen, which he jokingly described as Promise Keepers on crack, drew him in. “I wanted the real meat,” he said. “They touch on real things here, like masturbation. That’s something that would never be discussed in church, where you are supposed to keep your shame quiet.” Another fan is Adam Rundell, 25, who drove 13 hours from Clay Center, Kansas, with his buddy Brian Tholstrup, 32, after reading about the conference on Paul Coughlin’s web site. Rundell says the day empowered him. “People think that you have to be a goody-two-shoes to be Christian and I hate that,” he says. “This has strengthened me. I am a man and I can stand my ground and I’m not afraid to show my impurities and if someone has a problem with that, that’s their problem.”

When the GodMen band seized the stage again, they tore into an anthem called “Grow A Pair!”: “We’ve been beaten down/ Feminized by the culture crowd,” they sang. “No more nice guy, timid and ashamed/ We’ve had enough, cowboy up/ In the power of Jesus name/ Welcome to the battle/ A million men have got your back/ Jump up in the saddle/ Grab a sword, don’t be scared/ Be a man, grow a pair!” Said Tholstrup, as he surveyed the crowd: “If 200 men are feeling this, other men are feeling it too.” Which ought to provide enough testosterone for plenty of GodMen gatherings to come.

The Days of Awe

Melanie, as always, is keeping her eyes and ears open for me. As it is the Days of Awe, as I should be contemplating my existence, my sins, etc... Melanie thought she would help me along in my journey of introspection.

Call 1-888-OOPS-JEW

Fans of The Colbert Report know that host Stephen Colbert has been taking the 10 Days of Teshuvah very seriously this year.

The days between Rosh Hashanah (last Saturday and Sunday) and Yom Kippur (this Sunday night into Monday) are among the most important in the Jewish calendar, a time for spiritual renewal and repentance. Ever the helpful faux pundit, Colbert has installed a special phone to allow his Jewish friends to call him to apologize.

Initially, the phone number was impossible to access, since it featured Hebrew characters. On Tuesday (Sept. 26) night's show, though, Colbert admitted that he was shocked to discover that Jews don't use phones with Hebrew letters and adjusted accordingly, announcing the new number as 1-888-OOPS-JEW (or 1-888-667-7539).

When instructed by TV personalities to call phone numbers or visit websites, I do.

Those calling the number are greeted by Colbert's cheery voice:

"Shalom and welcome to Stephen Colbert's Atonement Hotline. At the beep, please be a mensch and unburden your soul by stating how you've wronged me, Stephen Colbert. Your call will not be returned, but selected apologies may be broadcast on the air. You should be so lucky."

A female voice cuts in to provide the necessary disclaimers, but stick around for the final kicker courtesy of Colbert, who chirps up at the end "And she's single!"

How have you phucked up this past year? Tell me your sins and I will tell you mine. Maybe.

The Implosion of George Allen

For those of you living under a rock, Virginia Senator George Allen made quite the social gaffe back in August, referring to a dark skinned attendee of a whatever as a, "Macaca." He also graciously welcomed him to America. Funny...the dark skinned man was already a citizen, having been born here.

Much lulz has ensued. Much ass coverage has been attempted, resulting in further lulz as the Allen campaign keeps digging itself in deeper. I do not know what sort of shovel he is using, but I should certainly like to borrow it the next time snow falls on Raleigh.

It appears that the main defense employed by the Allen campaign is the platform of, "ignorance." Apparently, stupidity is absolution for making any sort of remotely racist remark. Allen's handlers insist that it was a slip, a mistake and that he had no idea what "macaca" means. This...from a man (Allen) who had a noose in his office of his law practice years ago ("it was a gift to fit with the western decor.")

Aside from jumping on the Allen-slamming bandwagon, where am I going with this?

Years ago, I dated a charming, young lad in Pittsburgh (*gags*). I should have known to expect trouble when the mother 's (of said lad) first comment about me (after meeting me for the first time) was, "She's Jewish, isn't she?" Alas, I was young and stupid and did not see such a remark as a sign to run like hell.

One lovely evening, the charming lad and I were hanging out in the living room of his parents' house when he called me (apparently in jest) a, "kike." Yikes! Naturally, I tore into him in a most self-righteously smug fashion, chastising him for using such a dreadfully racist term. His mother, always one to defend (Oedipus, anyone) her precious offspring, flies into the living room on broomstick and says, "My son doesn't know what that word really means. I did not raise him to know those words." My retort was along the lines of, "Ok...so you raised an ignorant man who passes as a bigot? Or you raised him ill suited to be among people of different cultures and/or faiths?" The mother and I never really got along well.

A few years into our relationship, the charming lad and I bought a vehicle together. The broom riding, bitch of a mother, turns to us and says, "Did you Jew them down in price?" My only reaction to that display of diplomacy was a grin reminiscent of the Cheshire Cat. It took a few years, but I finally wheedled the truth out of that ghastly creature. She doesn't care for t3h Joos.

No. She didn't raise a bigot. She didn't teach her son words like kike. She was a good Lutheran lady who loves everyone.

Even scarier...she molds the minds of the youth of Pittsburgh as a sixth grade teacher. I wonder what argot she teaches them.

The moral of the story (aside from my sheer contempt for that horrible woman) is that you need to take responsibility for your words and your actions. If you phuck up, if you slip and say something absolutely abominable in public...do not employ ignorance as your defense. Admit that you may be a skosh bigoted, learn from your phucking mistakes and wash the hate and sense of superiority from your mind and soul.

Oh...and feed your sons pork chops and have them tell the world about it when your Jewish heritage has been uncovered (Sen Allen).

Article from the Washginton Post is here...for you under rock dwellers.

Women and Religion

I was raised as a fairly normal, practicing Jew. My family belonged to the Reform synagogue in our area because my parents are inter-faith. Being born of a gentile mother, my sister and I are "technically" not Jewish. However, my step-father saw fit to make me a good Jew, schlepping me to and from Hebrew School, Sunday School, Bat Mitzvah preparation and overnight, Jewish camp (an institution in existence for years, where parents send their children, for eight glorious weeks, to a remote location outside the confines of a city/urban area).

I consider myself a Jew. I have a mezuzah on my door. I do not eat ham (although...I have discovered that other pork products are actually quite yummy). I'm neurotic. I say daily prayers as often as I can remember to do so. I'm not the poster child for Judaism, but I try.

There are a lot of things with my faith I do not agree with. I do not like the "pay to pray" concept of having to belong to a specific synagogue and pay membership dues. Perhaps it is my interpretation of the rules, but my interpretation does not like that.

I do not care for Kosher laws. If I want to eat a cheeseburger, I'm going to eat a cheeseburger. The same applies for bacon, sausage and Carolina barbecue. We have refrigeration in the modern era. Tradition is nice but I think there can be some evolution in a faith that is 5,700+ years old. We kept Kosher at camp. I still will not eat a Kosher hot dog. I want to eat cloven-hoofed animals.

My biggest gripe about my faith is the treatment of women. While the Reform and Conservative branches of Judaism allow for the ordination of women, the Orthodox movement does not. Women are not allowed to be leaders of a congregation. A quote on beliefnet.com states the following, "[Ordaining women] shakes the boundaries of tradition, and I would never allow it," says Modern Orthodox leader Norman Lamm.

It is important to note that I am not a religious scholar. I would never be upset if the truly devout looked upon me as an un-Jew because I no longer practice routinely. Whilst I am spiritual in nature, I am not devoted.

Newsweek has an interesting article about women in clergy (in general). In so far as most major religions are concerned, women are not in positions of leadership. They are not represented. Some religions do not even look upon women as members. I have a big problem with this.

Some people complain that our world is turning too secular. People are "falling from grace" and not participating as they once did. Outreach programs are springing up everywhere, trying to attract new members to a flock.

I cannot see how formalised religion expects to survive if women are treated like second class citizens. Women should be allowed to be members. They should be encouraged to take leadership roles, regardless of faith.

I do not care if the Old Testament, New Testament or whatever scripture is referenced says that women should not be in positions of leadership. I cannot accept that tradition would allow for disparate representation or participation. It is sad to know that institutions cannot evolve and allow women to assume active roles in their faith.

Tradition is nice. It's comforting. It's also a crippling paradigm that will not allow evolution of any sort. It is hard to be holy when scripture says that you are a lesser being because you have uterus.

How does one reconcile being faithful and true to a particular religion when you know that you're not a valued member?

*ducks from impending lightning bolt of doom coming from the heavens above to smite me

Trolling, Anti-Semitism, Bigotry and The Big Phuck You

Lately...there appears to be a sizeable amount of Anti-Semitism and Anti-Zionism floating around The Local thanks to some guileless, witless, nutless trolls who make a few posts and disappear. Now...before anyone thinks that TL is a hot bed of bigotry, I should like to state that it is not. It is quite the opposite, as a matter of fact. Otherwise...I seriously doubt that I would invest as much time in the forum as I do.

Usually...when I stumble across one of these threads, I will make myself known as TL's resident Jewess. The reasons behind such behaviour are too numerous to list. In a nutshell, however, I am not a Zionist, per se, nor do I appreciate racist comments of any kind (be they directed at me or anyone else). It has always been a bitter pill for me to swallow, living among the hate. In my own, naive way, I hope that I can effect change by showing bigots the err of their ways. If I cannot effect change, I do take pleasure in getting a really good laugh from their blatant stupidity by posting pictures of Mr Ed (just an example).

Anyhooo...to my point.

One thing that has resonated in me (about being a Jew, a minority, what have you) for quite some time now is Mel Brooks' interview on 60 Minutes with Mike Wallace. I like Mel Brooks. I'm not the "biggest" fan. I actually *gasps* found Blazing Saddles a bit trite, but I admire him. He is a creative man. I admire and respect Mel Brooks for more than the obvious. I admire Mel Brooks' way of turning the tables on the Anti-Semites, the bigots and pond-scum of this world. He is this special way of telling the haters of this world to phuck off. I think that is...well...special, extraordinary and beyond admirable.

For those of you who are curious, you can read the interview here. For those of you who want a snippet, I think the best quote is:

"What about it? What about it? What's so wrong? What's the matter with being a Jew? I think there's a lot of that way down deep beneath all the quick Jewish jokes that I do," - Mel Brooks

So...that is what I am thinking about right now.

Have we not evolved enough as a species to move beyond the categorization of people for the sake of hate? Are people so devoid of creativity that the only thing they feel comfortable attacking is someone's race, colour, creed or sexual orientation?

As I tell the haters I encounter...I am who I am and I am not going anywhere.

Well, then, it must be true....

That nutter, Pat Robertson, is at it again. Someone...please euthanise this man.

Pat, G-d and Tsunamis

Onward Secular Soldiers...

Isn't this a shame? The Christian Coalition is in debt...by a whopping two million greenbacks. You know...I wonder if the same accountant is managing our Federal deficit and budget.

I delight in this. I'm not above enjoying when others are in pain. These arseholes get what they deserve.

I wonder if they're praying for a windfall of some sorts.

Washington Post article: Christian Coalition Shrinks as Debt Grows

Passover

Just a few more days until the feast of the unleavened. I have yet to burn out on Macaroons. Then again, I am limiting myself to those as they are amazingly caloric.

My father sent my sister and I an e-mail this morning regarding Passover. He makes an excellent point.

-----Original Message-----
From: Elliot
Sent: Monday, April 10, 2006 8:52 AM
To: Marnie
Cc: Robyn
Subject: Passover

If there is an Easter bunny why isn't there a Passover aardvark? platypus? sloth? amoeba? Hunh? Duh?

Passover PENGUIN


I told Daddy and Phoebe that I think the Passover Penguin is Elijah in a tuxedo.

Passover

The Passover goodies have arrived at our local Harris Teeter! Matzoh, matzoh everywhere!!!! And macaroons. Mmmm. Delightful, fluffy macaroons with chocolate chips.

To celebrate the arrival of the goodies, I made a delightful lunch of fried matzoh. Yes...it sounds gross and if you didn't grow up eating it, it probably is gross. But I absolutely love it.

Directions...

2 to 3 sheets of Kosher for Passover matzoh (per person)
1 to 2 eggs (per person)
salt & pepper to taste

Take the matzoh, snap it into medium sized pieces and drop it in bowl. Add warm water and let it soak for five minutes or so. Drain completely. Add eggs (cracked of course), salt and pepper...mix with hands (or a slotted wooden spoon if you have long nails like Kang).

Heat small amount of oil (preferably peanut) in pan on medium/medium high heat. Drop the matzoh ooze into pan. Cook until brown on one side (maybe 5 - 7 minutes). Flip. Repeat.

Sprinkle some additional pepper and kosher salt on the top. Serve.

Be sure to have something to drink. You will need it. Another critical thing to note...do not plan on eating anything else for the remainder of the day. Fried matzoh rests in your belly like lead.

Ahhhhh...Jewish cooking. Eggs, more eggs and oil. Suddenly I feel like I'm a little girl waiting for Daddy to finish cooking me breakfast.

When good parents go wrong...

There is an article and thread on The Local today about Anti-Semitism in Sweden. One of the (hysterically funny) participants suggests I google a guy named David Icke for fun. To say that this guy is a few sandwiches short of a picnic is to say too little. This guy believes that Jews descend from a "reptilian bloodline." Seriously...clink on the link to read David Icke's bio on wikipedia.

Now for the point...I sent out an e-mail with this guy's wikipedia link to Dock, Scott, Sean and my father. Here is Daddy's response.

-----Original Message-----
From: Elliot Langman
Sent: Tuesday, March 14, 2006 10:00 AM
To: Langman-Richardson, Marnie
Subject: RE: Today's Freak Show...

I rue the day we allowed you the privilege of a library card.

Peaceful Chapel Hill

On Friday, an alum of UNC decided to rent a car and take a trip. His destination was The Pit on the campus of UNC Chapel Hill. The Pit was filled with students milling around under the Carolina Blue sky.

His modus operandi according to investigators was his wanting to "avenge the deaths or murders of Muslims around the world." Mohammed Reza Taheri-azar has been charged with nine counts of assault with a deadly weapon inflicting serious injury with intent to kill, according to WRAL's website.

As upsetting as it is, this story has not received much play in the national news arena. MSNBC did have a headline on its website on Friday. No mention of the story all day Saturday (both the TV channel and website). I was beginning to wonder if the "liberal" media was going to file this under past news, as it seemed that the girl with the stolen prosthetic leg was far more important than an angry Muslim smashing into a crowd of otherwise innocent, college kids. Thank goodness, MSNBC had the decency to raise this issue again this morning. I'm hoping, with the arraignment on Monday, that the media is going to hop all over this story and give it its due. I'm hoping Paris Hilton doesn't do anything stupid this evening at The Oscars to keep the media from being sidetracked.

My point behind this rambling is this...the Muslim world is not happy with the Western world (gasp!). And why, class, is that? Could it be because Bush decided to engineer a war of values upon the Arab world? Noooooooo.

Bush's crusade has finally hit home.

No....not 09.11. I'm fine with lobbing bombs in the mountains of Afghanistan and Pakistan in the hunt for Bin Laden (not that we're going to catch him because that would signify the end of the "war on terror.")

George Bush and his axis of idiocy have managed to bring the war on ideals home to Chapel Hill, NC. His attack on people of a different ideology is now starting to impact people on our hallowed, American soil. Was it not Bush and Cheney who beat the drum, iterating, "it's better to fight them over there than here?" Well, Bushie...whatcha goin' to do about it, now?

The "war on terror" is moving to the United States. Slowly but surely. I do not condone the actions of Muslim reactionaries anymore than I condone the behavior of the Christian Right and their Crusade of Ideals. That said...anyone who didn't see something like this coming has on rose-colored glasses with a side order of blinders.

It is a damn good thing that this guy, a guy who graduated with a degree in Psychology, only rammed his car into a group of unsuspecting college kids. Let's hope the next disenfranchised, frustrated "evil-doer" doesn't take a lesson from Timothy McVeigh and hire a moving van, fill it with fertilizer and detonate it in front of a building. Or worse. After all, our ports and power plants are sitting ducks.