Men are from...?
Any surprise that Kodos walks around in a perpetual state of raised eyebrowage?Two weeks ago, possibly three, Dock Ellis worked a rather elaborate gig for some big cheese and his Kozlowski style birthday party. No small affair for Raleigh. The entertainment for this private throw down was K C & The Sunshine band.
After the show, during strike, Dock meandered into the catering tent for grub since that is what sound guys do (scrounge for free food). He espied a virginal chocolate cake, snagged it and brought it home for us to feast upon. Given that Kodos is completely devoid of energy and entirely uninterested in housework, the cake has been festering in the fridge after picking at it for a week.
Today I noticed a shift in the cake. Not movement from mold (at least I didn't see any) but actual movement as in...someone is nibbling at the cake orts. I asked Dock about this since he has a long history of picking at old cake. Lo and behold, suspicions confirmed, Dock is still eating the three week old cake.
When feeling energetic, I dispose of anything over a week old. I do not care what it is. I live in fear of germs and food poisoning (having had an unfortunate incident with an Oscar Mayer hot dog when I was seven, never forgiving the Oscar Mayer meat products company and never touching their products since). Dock, on the other hand, disposes of old food by ingesting it.
Exactly how long should cake be permitted to fester in the fridge before a man decides the time has come for the cake to meet the trash?
Labels: Observations
posted by High Priestess Kang @ 10/15/2006 07:36:00 PM
10 Comments
10 Comments:
What may appear as a simple act, is, after careful anthropological examination a more profound and primordialy rooted behavior.
"is what sound guys do (scrounge for free food). He espied a virginal chocolate cake, snagged it and brought it home for us to feast upon."
This was no cake! This was a kill!
Note how Dock Ellis spied the cake, perhaps even circling it. The cake was whole, unbroken, untouched, it was still alive, accroding to the primitive brain!
Having "snagged" this prize, Dock brought it back to "his" safe place to share it with his mate, and to consume it in safety and privacy.
Once cut, the cake became carrion.
Cake should be tossed within 24 hrs, but to Dock Ellis, this was now carrion and it had never actually been cake. He felt comfortable nibbling at it, until it was rendered into hard crumb.
To break this habit you should keep "fresh" cake in the home on a regular basis. Thus training dock Ellis that cakes are not difficult prey items, they are easily taken, and should never be considered carrion.
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Emory wins.
My optimal solution to this is to date men that cook. Less scavenging, less take out. And having to cook turns me off, so more sex for them. Everyone wins!
Seelly woo-mon type! Know you not that the digestive system of the hunam male is designed to withstand even old Twinkies?! OLD TWINKIES!! And you think a mere 3 week old CAKE shall foul it?! Have you not SEEN the substances imbibed for sustinence by the hunam male during it's collegiate studious period?! Were they fed forcefully to any other being too close to a military conflict, they would not be called a meal, but a WAR CRIME! Yet lo, do males of your species consume these dark delights, for much yumminess may yet be contained in the depths of that cake, where the air has not yet brought staleness...
Two days. Max limit. Chocolate cake has the life of two days. Now if the cake is special like carrot cake or strawberry cream cake (yes I can make both). If its not gone after one day. Garbage can.
Three week old cake you would not get me near. You must remember that the icing is probably Duncan Hines which is no good after two weeks. And most cake has eggs in it. So be careful.
OMFG....
*laughing way to hard to even think of a witty retort to Emory*
Cake Carrion! Lulzy!
Melanie...
If I married a man that could bake goodies like Maswan, my ass would bear a "wide load" sign. No way am I giving up the skinny jeans, now!
Krammies!
Skabob...
I think we lived together in the same Fraternity house in college. Did you go to Clarion, perhaps? ;)
/Kodos
Howard...
If Allison ever makes the mistake of letting you go, call me!
Krammies!
Thank you, Skabob. When I first heard of cars being converted to biodiesel, I though "big deal, in college I converted my body to run on beer and stale popcorn".
Emory's analysis is fascinating, but I have to disagree- I think my willingness to eat things that are less than 100% fresh stems from imprinted memories of the Great Depression inherited from my grandparents.
Anyway, all you nancypants can go right ahead and throw away any food that's been around for more than 30 seconds, but I'll continue to munch happily on "vintage" foods. Don't toss it 'till you taste it!
30 seconds or 30 days? There is a dramatic difference.
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