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We live with these creatures. We share in their triumph, joy, misery, anger and the lagom. Through our own choosing, we commit ourselves to a life together. Could I be speaking of pets? Could I be mentioning our family members? Yes. But not this time. This time I'm talking about our spouses (or partners).

This morning, while dragging the laundry downstairs, something caught my eye. Perched upon the mantel, nestled between the Dalahästen and the menorah, I espy a baseball cap. It's early morning, the light is dim in the living room and my glasses are resting on the kitchen counter. I move a little closer to read it and the realisation sets in. It's Grampy Stevens' Tin Can Sailors cap. The cap he wore each time he went to the VA in Togus. You see, Grampy Stevens served in the navy in both World War II and Korea. He is a member of what has been termed, "The Greatest Generation." The hat was given to Dock by Grammy after Grampy passed on.

My husband, by nature, does not emote. Not at all. Or, at least, not well. He is not a case study in being a blank stare. He has a temper. He likes to laugh. But he always seems to fall short of expressing himself when it comes to the tricky shit like love. I am not sure if it is because he is WASP, a Mainer or a combination of both.

Taking this into account, you can imagine exactly how startled I was when I happened upon the baseball cap on my mantel. It was a sucker punch to the gut. I know my husband is grieving. He has not been shy about that (thank heavens). But the realisation of said grief, the display of said emotion was enough to make me stop dead in my tracks, lower my head and think for a moment.

At this point in time, I cannot determine whether my heart is heavier for the loss of Grampy or the pain my husband is experiencing. At the same time, I am deeply moved by such a display of loyalty and love, I'm nearly in tears.

It's funny how we can share our lives for ten years or so and still be surprised by the actions of people we think we know. There will always be an occasion, an action, a slight indication that there is way more going on within the minds and hearts of our spouses than we are aware of. I know this. Fundamentally and logically, I know this. But regardless of what my wisdom may tell me...I'm still surprised to see things emerge, to bear witness to a behaviour pattern that I never knew existed or simply overlooked through my own self-absorption and narcissism.

I'm not sure what any of this really means. It is simple gesture on behalf of Dock to ensure that Grampy will never be far from us. But it is a powerful one. The only thing I am sure of is that I will never touch the hat...unless I have to dust it.