Footy
I have been drafted by Littlefair. I think I'm now an Arsenal fan. Being a Yank, I have no idea what any of this means. Then again...I felt the same way when I started watching NASCAR.
Vindaloo!?!
Dock has decided to become a Man United supporter. Entirely because of the movie, EuroTrip. Dock wouldn't know footy if a ball bonked him on the head. But he likes the movie and he really, really likes Vinnie Jones' character. I believe he really wants the bus.
Now...bloody war will ensue in our house. Not that we even know why. If you have a "footy-for-idiots" link, resource, what-have-you...kindly let me know. It appears I have a lot of learning to do.
VINDALOOOOOOOO!!!!
Labels: Sport
posted by High Priestess Kang @ 3/12/2006 12:40:00 PM
20 Comments
20 Comments:
Vinnie plays a Man United fan but played for wimbledon.
Also Vindaloo while being a great song is an England song but the gunners will use it too if u like.
*head explodes*
Identity crisis ensues. Help!!! Am I a gunner? Should I refrain from vindaloo????
*tries to put head back together, running out of Elmer's*
Stick with Vindaloo it is a good song. Stick with the Arsenal they are the best team.
To help with any arguement against anyone who would slight Arsenal you need only one Reply
Thierry Henry
noone has an answer for him
lol
Mais bien sur!!!
Thank you. I will be seeking additional counsel shortly.
Your silly, footy-ignorant Yank
/Kang
no problems Kang I will help all I can with the invasion of (and never get this wrong) FOOTBALL to the states.lol
Oh and btw
Scotty Doesnt Know is a frigging ace song.
lol
I also chose Manchester because of Patrick Stewart's character in this film-
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119630/
Masterminds (1997)
(sometimes hotels don't have the history channel)
"Fuck off! Get out of it, you wankers! Go on, you Gallic fucking garlic-breath tossers! Piss off! Get in here and say that, mate! Come on! Fucking come and have it! You fucking beep? We'll beep, you bastard, all over your fucking nose! Fuck off! Go on, you French bastards! Get on the other side of the road, you pricks! Go on out of it! Fuck off!"
"tu n'est pas un robo"
beep zip beep zip zip
Littlefair will stealthily export football to America by turning all the women into screaming football junkies.
We are slaves to Littlefair.
Indeed.
We shall have to aquire the appropriate attire as well. Move over, Princess Leia.
I'm trying to figure out which shirt will be best for me. Once I do...the credit card should be prepared to be stretched.
Kang I have researched the subject and it appears there are no Alien sizes however I am sure you could get one and alter it.
Dock dont go for Manchester Unied believe me we Gunners can swear too. If you are a Man u fan u will find this out form every terrace inthe land.
U will chant United!
everyone else will follow that with SHIT!
Littlefair...
I tried telling Dock that Man United was for pussys. He wouldn't listen. I even trotted out the Posh & Becks relationship.
Oh well...he's asking for it, isn't he?
I AM A GIRL
For a minute there, I thought you were serious. First exploding toilet, then mugging....
Phew. Heart...move from throat back to chest.
I'm not feelin' a goddamn thing. This Absinthe is BULLSHIT!
England 5 Germany 1. Another bit of trivia for those of you who need more knowledge if EVER anyone mentions Germany in a sentence then you must shout England % Germany 1
If you're trapped at home or in a bar and forced to watch a game, it's helpful to have a stock of sayings to shout at the TV so you fit in.
For example:
"oooooooh" - whenever a shot is taken at the goal, no matter how close. (If especially close, a short round of clapping is permissible)
"Referee!" - if your players are fouled
[silence] - if your players foul the other team's
"PENALTY!" - if one of your players falls anywhere near the opponents' goal
"Go on, son" - when one of your players is heading goal-wards with the ball
"Unlucky" - when said player is effortlessly dispossessed by a £14m defender
Be modest in your support, like all true England fans
Note: calls of "offside!" are probably best avoided. Even the best linesmen standing there on the pitch rarely get this unfathomable rule right.
Certain phrases are verboten. Nothing will reveal your lack of football knowledge more than an ill-conceived comment. Avoid the following:
"6-nil? All to play for then?"
"Which ones are England?"
"Wow - did you see how far he kicked that?"
"He's picked it up! He's throwing it! I thought you couldn't do that?"
Replace said utterances with generalised, chin-stroking observations such as:
"Hmmmm, they're playing a little deep."
"They should push up more."
"They should bring on a holding midfielder."
"They need to get the ball into channels."
A few of these confidently delivered during the game should disguise your ignorance.
APPROPRIATE REACTIONS
It's important that you react in the right way at the right time. When your team score, jubilation, shouting, jumping and hugging are expected. This is also the only time when spilling your drink on another man is forgivable.
If the other team scores, however, a frozen look of shock, followed by a shake of the head and close examination of the bottom of the pint glass is appropriate. Try to avoid eye contact.
If your team loses, rock back and forth in the foetal position until the bar staff say it's time to leave.
POST-MORTEM
Games can often be the subject of conversation for hours, days, weeks afterwards. This is when you could be most exposed.
Check the result on BBC Sport
If asked for your opinion on a result, stick to short summaries like "Great game" and "Yeah fantastic" or "Terrible"/"Disaster". Always check the score the morning after a game to ensure you deliver a suitable reply. Try to avoid sentences which begin: "I loved the bit when..."
A way out is to say "Sorry I missed the game" followed by an excuse of sufficient magnitude. "My wife gave birth" or "An aeroplane crashed into my house". If really pressed, never say you actually don't like football and never watch it. Stay calm and simply concede: "I don't have the football gene." Or "I'm more of a tennis person". "I support Scotland" is always an excuse that elicits sympathy.
Ok kang still trying to help I found this on a page but posted instead of linking as most of it was irrelevant
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