Ode to Marcel

On a whim, one afternoon at PetSmart, I found this adorable, little froggy in a tank among a bunch of fish (mollies, I believe). Growing up, Daddy always had a frog for us in our aquarium. The frog escaped from time to time but of the memories that one carries through life from childhood...this one is fairly clear and vivid. I decided that the froggy had to come home and commune among my fish. I asked the fish clerk to toss Marcel in a bag and I (proudly) trotted him to the counter, paid the whopping $2.00 and brought him home. Marcel and I have been together for a few months, now.

When Marcel first arrived, he was very tiny. Swimming to the top of the tank for air was quite a struggle. He would ascend, half way, and then float back to the bottom. His efforts were so sincere and pure. Eventually, he would make it to the top, snap up some air and plummet to the bottom of the tank like a brick...only to let out a burp and a bubble.

Marcel has grown considerably. Getting to the top of the tank is no longer an issue for him. I have caught him swimming in the wake of the filter, as if he was on a froggy tread mill. I'm not really sure what, if anything, little frogs think...but I hope he is happy.

In a certain way...I feel like Marcel right now. Or...should I say...the young Marcel. Small, tiny, foolish and unsure. Sometimes, I get snagged in the plants and I need some assistance to extricate me from a decision rooted in poor judgment. Sometimes, I have a bigger fish sitting on me...just to remind me who is actually "the boss" in this world. Other times...I manage to make it effortlessly to the top of the water level for a savory gasp of air. Just to gloriously float to the bottom and burp satisfactorily. Every once in a while…I’ll just lay my cheek upon the glass and watch the world pass me by.

I hope, at one point in my life, that I can be the bigger Marcel. Swimming to the top of the tank, sans effort, for my gulp of air. Unapologetically floating to the bottom to burp among the substrate and fishies that are trying to play with me. Most importantly…I hope to have the confidence in myself that Marcel seems to posses now. I should like, without remorse, to be able to go to the top of the tank, seize what I want and move happily along in life. With the luxury of an un-cluttered mind and pure heart, of course.